How to Lose a Guy in 30 Days or Less (LOL)

1. Call him back to back--REPEATEDLY!...while you're at it, leave him a bunch of whiny/bitchy messages chewing him out for NOT answering any of your 100 calls!

2. Tell anyone who will listen just how close the two of you have become. I'm sure he'll just love the fact that all of your girlfriends now know that he slept with his favorite teddy until he was 13!

3. Being his girl just isn't enough...so strive to become his mom! Nag him on how he needs to clean his house, dress differently, and shake those loser friends of his.

4. He loves your style! Of course he does...you're fly! Go ahead and drag him to the mall with you, try on fifty dresses and keep asking him just how fat or stupid you look in them.

5. Congrats! You've just received that degree in Psychology...so now you have no choice but to analyze--and re-analyze-- everything he says. "Hmmmm...he wants lasagna for dinner...clearly that's an unequivocal marriage proposal!"

6. Awwww...those random pics of the two of you are just so darling! Surely a giant picture collage plastered on his wall & presented to him as a surprise would be the highlight of his day!

7. Modern Bride, Martha Stewart Wedding, the spiral notebook you've had since 98 with all of your wedding plans & details...it's all so exciting! I'm sure he'd love to hear about the ivory silk hand-beaded fishtail deep-v Vera Wang couture gown and diamond-encrusted veil that you plan to wear while HE so anxiously awaits your march down that aisle!

8. Those pesky chin hairs, that yeast infection that seems to be Monistat-resistant, and even the "Tampax" vs. "O.B." debate is surely the type of conversation your guy loves to have with you. Be sure to drive the point home with great detail & demonstrations!

9. Don't forget to throw it in his face every chance you get just how much you've upgraded him! Had it not been for you, he would still be wearing Enyce & Dunks as opposed to those Tru's and Prada sneaks!

10. You're on the phone.....again! This time with his mom! Wave him away and reassure him its ok. The two of you are just discussing all of his flaws...and what you can collaboratively do to change them.