Are they sure its women they're looking for??? I'm just sayin...
Get it girl!...or boy! 
Damn shame, Sesame Street used to be such a nice neighborhood...
When did Ms. Piggy get tatted?
I can attest to wanting some bbq this badly. Hmmmmm, this may actually be a good idea...
Clearly, "ghetto" crosses all color lines...
If the state didn't have proof that he was the baby's daddy, they have it now! 
I agree, strollers are totally overrated...
Gotta love our people!!!
Here we go yet again with shenanigans-a-plenty...
(note the stain in the ass of her panties)===>
...so damn stanky...
...introducing "Juanita's Bumper Curl", class of '93...
...Fred & Wilma Flintstone were black and lived in the hood? Who knew!
It's that time of year again. That's right! It's prom season! Prom used to be a classy tradition that celebrated the stepping stone of leaving high school as a young adult. Now prom looks like an audition for clown college or a gathering for video hoes! Here goes...
**very loud sighs** Yes, this couple really did bring their baby to the prom...dressed in the same tacky pattern as his parents. I have nothing else to say about this pic. 
This is just too many ideas rolled into one horrible dress! I can't take it! The bedazzlement...the capris...the built-in wings...the basketweaving around the neck and stomach...WTF??? Clearly the same lady who designs the fits for the girls at the strip clubs made this "ensemble"! Classy...NOT!
So when did "Mattel" come out with Ghetto Ballerina Barbie? Oh, that's just Shaniqua from down the street! 
This is a prime example of why you need to monitor how much BET your kids and teenagers are watching! They trapped real hard before prom! 'Nuff said. 
What in the fur-trimmed orange hell is going on here?!? Who let somebody's mama attend the prom 'cuz clearly this chick is waaaaayyyyy over the age of 17,18! And if she ain't, then the stresses of life are starting to show on her face just a tad too early!
I understand the need to be different and stand out, but...babycakes was serious about rockin' a damn Spongebob dress! Too much, and not in a good way!
This is my plea for the Class of 2010: I am begging you to bring the classiness back to prom! Shenanigans like these will just get you laughed at for years to come! Take notes and please do better.
Why do you take certain song lyrics to heart? (i.e. "...it ain't where he at it's where he, where he wanna be!", and "...if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it...") ...So why you all up in the club sangin' your heart out to some guy or girl that ain't even paying you an ounce of attention remember that it's a three minute song, not a literal translation of your life!
Why do you think your knock-off bag, nappy lace front, and canal street outfit gives you the right to act stank? Girl you are not doin' it big so stop it!
and speaking of lace fronts...Why are you walking around with that thing pulled down to your eyebrows? Didn't you watch the damn tutorial?
Why do you choose to not wash your hands after using a public restroom? Don't you know how absolutely disgusting that is?!?
Why do you buy shoes and clothes that are clearly too small? When the button on your pants is looking like it's about to pop off and take somebody's eye out and your big toe is scraping the ground, you have to know that it's obvious your shit don't fit!
Why are you applying MAC to them dry ass lips? You got the thickest skeet line jumpin off! Exfoliate with warm water & a towel, apply carmex, and then get the lipgloss poppin!
Why are you so loud? Are you deaf in one ear?
Why are you leaving your kids in the car while you get your hair done? Isn't that child endangerment? Either find a sitter or re-schedule your appointment!
Why won't you buy a bra that fits? Triple boob is not what's up.
Why are your ankles and feet ashy but your lips glossed up?
What? Girl bye! LOL!
1. Why does the media make a bigger hoopla of First Lady Obama's wardrobe than her actual work as first lady?
2. Why are we still hearing about Chris Brown & Rihanna rumors? Can they live?
3. Why are people steady screaming "It's a recession!" when they know they been broke?
4. Why is the Republican party so hell bent on seeing Obama fail?
5. Why did KFC just now decide to come out with grilled chicken? They are late as hell getting on board with this!
6. And speaking of chicken...Why were there actually people who sat in the drive thru line at Popeye's last week for up to 2 hours for that $5 holla? 
7. Why are girls rockin lacefront wigs and letting the lace show? Just get a professional tutorial first...damn!
8. Why does the news/media have a way of making us feel as though we're all going to die from EVERY epidemic that occurs? (i.e. "swine flu")
9. Why is it so easy to want what you can't have?
10. Why doesn't money grow on trees? LOL! 
The only pics you've ever taken were in your living room, bathroom or at the club...
You forgot to hide the tags on the dress that you planned on returning after you took your pics in it...
Nobody--except your "myspace friends"--actually knows that you're a model...
Someone forgot to tell you that in the world of glamour modeling, you're photog is supposed to EDIT OUT the pimples on your ass!...
If this applies to you...PLEASE STOP THE SHENANIGANS!!!
...the only time you can get a ride home from your man is on payday.
...your nails are so long that you can't wipe your behind properly
...turning up the heat means turning on another burner on the stove
...you always eat at other peoples' houses but never bring anything
...your car cost more than your house
...you use black eyeliner to line your lips
...the heels of your feet look like you've been riverdancing in flour
...you don't think you're clean unless there's visible baby powder on your neck and chest...and you ain't no baby!
...you say any of the following:
Axe= Ask
Labtop= Laptop
Wayment= Wait a minute
Nem= contraction for "and them"
Skreet= Street
Ambalamps= Ambulance
Look did= Looked
Pacific= Specific (no, these words are not interchangeable!) 
You're getting married, but:
your wedding dress is also a maternity dress,
there are more people in the wedding than in the audience,
everybody's exes were invited because they're all remarried to someone else in the family
1. Why is TWITTER like always over capacity now? (and don't you hate that damn whale?)
2. Why do people go on TV court shows and air out all their dirty laundry?
3. Why are there still people in their 20s and 30s who are computer ILLiterate?
4. Why is driving so expensive? (tax, title, car note, gas, maintenance, etc.)
5. Why is "bitchassness" and "internet thugism" running so rampant?
6. Why does everything that tastes soooooooooooooo good have to be soooooooooooo bad for you? (the calorie fest below is courtesy of "This Is It" restaurant in ATL!)
7. Why won't the REAL spring weather break?
8. Why are girls really buying and wearing butt pads/ padded panties? Eat some collards and co'n bread!!!
9. Why am I mad that I missed the Ray J show last night?
10. Why even ask WHY?
Call me a "weirdo" but here's MORE stuff that I hate:
Prom/After 5 dresses in the club~ maybe my friends and I missed the memo, but last time I checked the club was not a formal dinner/dance party. Be fly of course! But save the sparkly "after 5" joints for what they were made for--SPECIAL OCCASIONS!
<===NOT a club dress!
<===club cute...
Muffin top~ two words: bigger pants. Low rise pants that are a size or two too small create this unsightly spillage. Two more words: not sexy!
Gum smacking~ do girls do this thinking it's cute? Just wondering because with that gum smacking there seems to be a "hot girl" 'tude. Is that spit that makes the gum crack? Ewwwww. Whatever the case may be, it's wack to smack...your gum.
Liars~ why front? Nine times outta ten, you're gonna be found out. Just tell the truth. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run. It's only so long fake mofo's can pretend!
"Steak-ums"~ ok, so, it's a paper-thin piece of "steak" that clearly is not really steak because I've never tasted any steak that tastes this horrible! Just gross! You'd be better off buying a cheap cut of REAL steak, chopping it up yourself, and making a sandwich out of that!
<===Newsflash! NOT real steak!
Ford Taurus~ to me, this is the fugliest car in the world. Period. They just look so corny to me! I don't care how they church it up, this car sucks. 
Scary eyebrows~ whether they are completely shaved off and then redrawn in a dreadful arch waaaaaayyyy up higher than where your actual brows were before you weed-wacked them, or the big furry wooly bear style brows...it's just not right! Not to mention the fact that there is no excuse! Many years ago, I was the victim of bad brows and had to join Over-Pluckers Anonymous. When you over pluck, shave 'em off, or whatever you do, it takes alot of hard work and hella patience for them to grow back. Leave your brow grooming in the hands of the pros and only do them yourself IF AND ONLY IF you learn the PROPER techniques and have the PROPER tools!
<===SCARY!!!
Did ol' girl forget to put her pants or leggings on before she left the house or was this a deliberate attempt to transform what is clearly a top into a dress? This is just one of the many shenanigans I witnessed while out & about last night. Again, (asking with a raised right brow and a ginormous sigh) where was this chick's friends?
Please! Just go away already! How many countless seasons will we have to endure? It's the same year after year. What is this, season 150? Paula, Randy, and Simon, I am begging you to retire! Get out while the gettin' is good! Thanks to you guys we are blessed with the presence of such lovely shows as "America's Got Talent". In the words of Keyshia Cole, I just want it to be over!
Men...poor unsuspecting fools, LOL! Men are visual creatures. They go ga-ga for curves, big booties, nice perky boobs, a pretty face and a gorgeous mane. This is a pretty well-known fact and thanks to the marvels of modern technology, women can "add-on" whatever features they are lacking. Sounds crazy, right? Not exactly. Take a look for yourself...
...looks like even Ms. "Bootylicious" herself has a little help with the shake in that jelly!
With products like this on the market, even those with the most severe cases of "noassatallitis" can have the fellas sayin "dayum!" (as shown below)
Let's not forget our beloved push-up bras, making even the saggiest or non-existent boobs sit right at chin level...or better yet, right in a man's eye line! Look at Paris. Thanks to a small "miracle"-- bra that is--she went from flat to inflated!
Wow! Take a look at that itty-bitty waistline! Genes like Jessica Rabbit? Nope. It's a corset!
It's already known what good makeup application can do...smooth out your skin, even out your complexion, accentuate all your best features:
...clearly, NO ONE is above the need for makeup!
