"Bitch Please!" Bourgeois Bitches Bite The Dust

If there's one thing I can't love it's a snobby chick. We all know one...or several. You know, the type of chick who turns her nose up at anyone or anything that she deems not on her level, not expensive enough, etc. Let me say this: I applaud and congratulate any woman who is the female version of a hustla, gettin' that money & doin' big thangs. What I can't love is any woman who thinks that what she has makes her better than the next. I REALLY can't love the ones who think they're better than, yet her MAN is the one footing the bill! Technically, are you even allowed to be a snob when you're not paying your own way? Hmmmmm...anywho...

When your man is the one lacing you, can you really LOL at the girl with the faux Damier? I mean, truthfully, when you're swanky lifestyle is totally reliant upon the money HE brings in, shouldn't one eye always be open?

All you "snobs-by-default" get a "BITCH PLEASE!" and an all-expenses paid course in self-sufficiency 101 for letting HIS wealth go to YOUR head. Whether it's known by you or not, a few of yall are one authentic Gucci bag away from a foodstamp card...but you ain't heard that from me...

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"Bitch Please!" ...When Being An Internet Gangsta Goes Wrong

Kevan, Kevan, Kevan...you don't know the half of what you've gotten yourself into. Since you like to go on blogs and talk shit and tell lies, I'll just expose you on mine!

Kevan a.k.a. Ghostwriter, Hater #1, Truth, Mystery, King, Cavs Player, M. Kiffin, Ray Mysterio, etc....Are all those made-up names actually your schizo personalities? Where was all this mouth on Saturday when you were staring at me in the club? I mean, you were blogging your ass off yesterday! All those posts under all those different aliases, sheesh! Why you so mad boo? Maybe it's because when you tried to holla at Rob behind my back he blew you off and told me! Kevan you're pathetic. You try to mess with everybody's man. You a back door bitch! Nobody wants that raggedy coochie so you creep in and try to get the next girl's sloppy seconds. You're a pathological liar, sociopath, psycho, follower, groupie, thief, eviction queen, and plain miserable. A diagnosed bi-polar who actually thinks its funny to be nuts! You stay posted at XO praying for a ball player to look your way and save your sorry ass. You like to go shopping, huh? Well try paying some rent! You stay getting evicted! Don't believe me? I have all your civil case numbers sitting right here: CV-08-658159 is one of them! Oh, you a bourgeois chick who loves designer bags? Yeah I know...you love Gucci so much that you went to jail for it! (criminal case number CR-00-388557-ZA, attempted theft and burglary charges from when you attended Akron U and stole money from your job). How was that 30 day jail stint babycakes? You're a true triflin tramp who didn't even know who your son's daddy was. Exactly how long did it take for you to figure out his dad was some random 50 year old married Puerto Rican man? I wonder how your daughter's father is gonna feel when he finds out he ain't really the daddy either. How does Joe feel about you tattooing his name on your wrist? Oh, that's right. He left your ass in the dust months ago...way before you got that tat! Guess it didn't take him long to see you ain't wrapped to tight.

I could say so much more but this is more than enough. You barked up the wrong tree and tried to screw over the wrong ones this time! Keep lying if you want to but... we don't believe you, you need more people! I really wanna laugh at you cause your life is such a joke! But this is too sad for me to even get any pleasure from the laughter! You get a "Bitch please!", an emergeny trip to your doc so that he can double the dosage on your bi-polar meds, and a prayer.

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"Bitch Please!"... Vanessa Bryant Is A Mess!

In recent news, (not that this is really news) Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their maid for being emotionally and verbally abusive toward her. According to the maid, Vanessa called her names such as "stupid fcuk" and constantly yelled at and berated her. She said that she tried to quit, but Kobe talked her into staying. Vanessa also allegedly forced the maid to put her hand inside a bag of dog crap to fish out a price tag for a blouse that the maid damaged by putting it in the washing machine. After the maid tried to quit, she was told by Vanessa that she has to work until payday to pay for the damaged blouse! The maid stayed. These allegations are believable seeing as how Vanessa cursed out a female reporter yelling "Fcuk you! Fcuk you b_____!" in front of her babies!

Vanessa, we know you mad that your man cheats on you. But babycakes, you can't go around taking out your frustrations and cries for attention on the help! If I was that maid I would've slapped you in the face with the hand that had the dog ish on it and told you to kiss the fattest part of my yellow a___ before walking out of there! Poor Kobe can't even divorce this psycho because he married her without a prenup...so it's cheapa to keepa!

"Bitch please!" Take your angry behind to anger management...quickly!

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"Bitch Please!"...The Main Chick Vs. The Jump-Off

We see it, hear about it, or we ARE it: a guy's "main line" or his "jump-off". Now, in no way am I insinuating that all men cheat, that all women in relationships are dealing with this, or that all single ladies are jump-offs. Who I am in fact addressing are those who make excuses for certain and specific behaviors when it comes to this situation.

First of all, since when did it become ok to be a "main line" when you should be THE ONLY! Secondly, you know your man is cheating like crazy yet you make all these justifications: "Me and him live together, he only spends the night at that other girl's house sometimes.", "I got his baby, so he's always gonna come home to me.", "He using her for her money.", blah blah blah. Slice it up, add whipped cream, and a cherry...it's still bullshit! These justifications and any others that are spouted off only amount to one thing: you're trying to save face as well as dull the pain of the embarrasment you feel. Not to mention the reality that your man is disrespecting you as well as your relationship. For this, you get a "Bitch please!" and a much needed dose of self-esteem and reality.

Jump-offs...sigh...where do I begin. You're getting another woman's leftovers. Sloppy seconds if you will. Since when did 2nd place win any prizes? I especially love the jump-off chicks who come into the situation knowing they are a jump-off yet get mad when the man hasn't bettered their position! Oh, you wanna be #1? Sorry, that position was previously filled. But hey, if you don't value yourself worthy enough of a man to make you his #1, then God-speed and good luck to ya' anyway! You get a "Bitch please!", and a 2nd place ribbon!

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"Bitch Please!"... The Sheree Whitfield Edition

We were witness to her "boughetto" antics on "Real Housewives of Atlanta"...including watching her have a fashion show with no fashions, and the cat fights & phoniness. We here about her legal issues and that she's actually BROKE! Most recently, she threw herself a "Brand New Me" divorce party despite the fact that her ex-husband dropped her ass a few years back! Yet again, the stankness that is Sheree's tude reared its ugly head and this time, people weren't having it. Long story short, she winds up not attending her own party after throwing an alleged hissy fit, and it ends up turning into a party for her ex, Bob Whitfield, LOL!

For this, babycakes, you get the "Bitch Please!"

Sheree, give it up hun. All the diva antics, the top-notch stanky attitude...clearly, it's not getting you anywhere that you want to be. Enough is definitely enough! Go take a nap until the next season of "Real Housewives" airs.

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