Hate On Haters! Hate On!

In light of what seems to be an epidemic, I've decided to post one of my fave poems by none other than Maya Angelou.

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all
their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever
good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some
haters…That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your
blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing you
blessed…

It’s dangerous to be like somebody else…

If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given
you what He gave them! Right? You never know what people have gone
through to get what they have.

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but
they don’t know my story… If the grass looks greener on the other side
of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there
too!

We’ve all got some haters among us! People envy you because you can:

Have a relationship with God
Light up a room when you walk in
Start your own business
Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn’t about the right thing)
Raise your children without both parents being in the home

Haters can’t stand to see you happy, Haters will never want to
see you succeed, Haters never want you to get the victory, most of our
haters are people who are supposed to be on our side. How do you handle
your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life? Purpose does not mean having a job.
You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having
a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not
defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not
human manipulation. Fulfill your dreams!

You only have one life to live…when it’s your time to leave this earth,
you ‘want’ to be able to say, ‘I’ve lived my life and fulfilled
‘my’ dreams,… Now I’m ready to go HOME! When God gives you favor, you can
tell your haters, Don’t look at me…Look at Who is in charge of me…’

Maya Angelou

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"Tay-tionary" Terms: Bag Swap

bag  (bg)  swap  (swp)

v. swapping, swapped 

 

          The trading of designer bags (authentic and knock-off) within a peer group for the purpose of looking exclusive and putting on a front for the public.

 

Ummm...yeah...ok...ladies, you can stop frontin' we see you... and WE KNOW!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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"Tay-tionary" Terms: Flashing Lights Syndrome

flash·ing  (flshng)  lights (lts) syn·drome  (sndrm)

n.

 

a distinctive pattern of behavior which indicates that an individual has been seduced by the fast life and the club scene

     a. black or strobe lighting, a dark club environment, and loud music seem to bring out the symptoms to FLS

     b. symptoms indicative of FLS include:

          1. a wannabe bourgeouis attitude

          2. clubbing three or more nights per week

          3. caviar taste with hotdog money

          4. consistent wearing of sunglasses during nighttime hours, in club settings

          5. borrowing designer bags & clothes from friends and/or stores to wear out & then returning said items that following Monday

     c. cures for FLS include:

          1. turning the channel away from MTV Jams, BET

          2. a dose of culture (i.e. museum, library)

         

 

         

 

        

 

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I Ain't Sayin' She A Golddigger...

...But she might be. A gold digger is a woman who can't bring anything worthwhile to the table but expects to be showered with expensive gifts, money, trips & all other luxuries. She's constantly on the prowl for high-profile men and sees nothing but dollar signs. Her existence lies solely in some rich guy's pockets and she's only concerned with what material things she can acquire. Some gold diggers even go as far as to use strategic crazy methods to end up pregnant by their wealthy conquests! (Turkey basters ain't just for making a bird juicy anymore!...If you're lost, Google it! )

 

I love to break down the difference between a gold digger and a woman with standards because all too often people tend to confuse the two. Let's not get it twisted one little bit because there are clear-cut distinctions when it comes to this here: women with standards (WWS) have their own, can give her man more than coochie, yet expects that he has at least what she has. She's not looking for a come up but knows that she deserves a man who works just as hard as she does to have the finer things in life. She also expects to be treated as a queen as well as his equal. WWS realize that it's hard work being Ms. Independent but know that it's degrading work being a man's hoe. I'm just sayin...

 

She might be a gold digger if:

1. You don't get the coochie until after you've bought her something.

Scratch a gold digger's back and she'll scratch yours--and by your back I mean your penis. It's just her way of classically conditioning you: YOU GOTTA PAY TO PLAY. Gold or Black AmEx cards only need apply.

2. She blames the recession for her current relationship troubles

If she suggests relationship counseling because you can't buy her new Jimmy Choos, your chick may just be a lil' money hungry.

3. The man of her dreams is Hugh Hefner

She's always wanted a man just like daddy--old & loaded.

 

 

 

 

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Just Triflin'

Meet Desmond Hatchett. This fool is the father of (at least) TWENTY-ONE children!!! No, your eyes aren't deceiving you...i said TWENTY-ONE!!! According to a statement from him, he says that "it just happened" and that all of the mothers knew about all of the previous children he fathered.

 

If you ask me (and even if you don't ask me), his ass needs to be neutered and he along with the whole damn group of chicks he's messed with/ impregnated all need to pile on a bus and go get tested for HIV/AIDS. He done set his hometown population a new high! And how stupid are these women to keep laying up with this man and having his babies? Clearly they can chalk the child support because he will never be able to afford to feed 21 mouths. This whole situation is just triflin'...

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When Prom Goes Wrong

It's that time of year again. That's right! It's prom season! Prom used to be a classy tradition that celebrated the stepping stone of leaving high school as a young adult. Now prom looks like an audition for clown college or a gathering for video hoes! Here goes...


**very loud sighs** Yes, this couple really did bring their baby to the prom...dressed in the same tacky pattern as his parents. I have nothing else to say about this pic.


This is just too many ideas rolled into one horrible dress! I can't take it! The bedazzlement...the capris...the built-in wings...the basketweaving around the neck and stomach...WTF??? Clearly the same lady who designs the fits for the girls at the strip clubs made this "ensemble"! Classy...NOT!


So when did "Mattel" come out with Ghetto Ballerina Barbie? Oh, that's just Shaniqua from down the street!


This is a prime example of why you need to monitor how much BET your kids and teenagers are watching! They trapped real hard before prom! 'Nuff said.


What in the fur-trimmed orange hell is going on here?!? Who let somebody's mama attend the prom 'cuz clearly this chick is waaaaayyyyy over the age of 17,18! And if she ain't, then the stresses of life are starting to show on her face just a tad too early!


I understand the need to be different and stand out, but...babycakes was serious about rockin' a damn Spongebob dress! Too much, and not in a good way!

This is my plea for the Class of 2010: I am begging you to bring the classiness back to prom! Shenanigans like these will just get you laughed at for years to come! Take notes and please do better.

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Ewwww!

What in the hell was Courtney Love thinking when she put on this bikini? This is just...bad!

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You're A Model...But...

The only pics you've ever taken were in your living room, bathroom or at the club...

You forgot to hide the tags on the dress that you planned on returning after you took your pics in it...

Nobody--except your "myspace friends"--actually knows that you're a model...

Someone forgot to tell you that in the world of glamour modeling, you're photog is supposed to EDIT OUT the pimples on your ass!...

If this applies to you...PLEASE STOP THE SHENANIGANS!!!

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"Bitch Please!" ...When Being An Internet Gangsta Goes Wrong

Kevan, Kevan, Kevan...you don't know the half of what you've gotten yourself into. Since you like to go on blogs and talk shit and tell lies, I'll just expose you on mine!

Kevan a.k.a. Ghostwriter, Hater #1, Truth, Mystery, King, Cavs Player, M. Kiffin, Ray Mysterio, etc....Are all those made-up names actually your schizo personalities? Where was all this mouth on Saturday when you were staring at me in the club? I mean, you were blogging your ass off yesterday! All those posts under all those different aliases, sheesh! Why you so mad boo? Maybe it's because when you tried to holla at Rob behind my back he blew you off and told me! Kevan you're pathetic. You try to mess with everybody's man. You a back door bitch! Nobody wants that raggedy coochie so you creep in and try to get the next girl's sloppy seconds. You're a pathological liar, sociopath, psycho, follower, groupie, thief, eviction queen, and plain miserable. A diagnosed bi-polar who actually thinks its funny to be nuts! You stay posted at XO praying for a ball player to look your way and save your sorry ass. You like to go shopping, huh? Well try paying some rent! You stay getting evicted! Don't believe me? I have all your civil case numbers sitting right here: CV-08-658159 is one of them! Oh, you a bourgeois chick who loves designer bags? Yeah I know...you love Gucci so much that you went to jail for it! (criminal case number CR-00-388557-ZA, attempted theft and burglary charges from when you attended Akron U and stole money from your job). How was that 30 day jail stint babycakes? You're a true triflin tramp who didn't even know who your son's daddy was. Exactly how long did it take for you to figure out his dad was some random 50 year old married Puerto Rican man? I wonder how your daughter's father is gonna feel when he finds out he ain't really the daddy either. How does Joe feel about you tattooing his name on your wrist? Oh, that's right. He left your ass in the dust months ago...way before you got that tat! Guess it didn't take him long to see you ain't wrapped to tight.

I could say so much more but this is more than enough. You barked up the wrong tree and tried to screw over the wrong ones this time! Keep lying if you want to but... we don't believe you, you need more people! I really wanna laugh at you cause your life is such a joke! But this is too sad for me to even get any pleasure from the laughter! You get a "Bitch please!", an emergeny trip to your doc so that he can double the dosage on your bi-polar meds, and a prayer.

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When A Good, Honest Friend Would've Come In Handy...Again

Did ol' girl forget to put her pants or leggings on before she left the house or was this a deliberate attempt to transform what is clearly a top into a dress? This is just one of the many shenanigans I witnessed while out & about last night. Again, (asking with a raised right brow and a ginormous sigh) where was this chick's friends?

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"Bitch Please!"... Vanessa Bryant Is A Mess!

In recent news, (not that this is really news) Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their maid for being emotionally and verbally abusive toward her. According to the maid, Vanessa called her names such as "stupid fcuk" and constantly yelled at and berated her. She said that she tried to quit, but Kobe talked her into staying. Vanessa also allegedly forced the maid to put her hand inside a bag of dog crap to fish out a price tag for a blouse that the maid damaged by putting it in the washing machine. After the maid tried to quit, she was told by Vanessa that she has to work until payday to pay for the damaged blouse! The maid stayed. These allegations are believable seeing as how Vanessa cursed out a female reporter yelling "Fcuk you! Fcuk you b_____!" in front of her babies!

Vanessa, we know you mad that your man cheats on you. But babycakes, you can't go around taking out your frustrations and cries for attention on the help! If I was that maid I would've slapped you in the face with the hand that had the dog ish on it and told you to kiss the fattest part of my yellow a___ before walking out of there! Poor Kobe can't even divorce this psycho because he married her without a prenup...so it's cheapa to keepa!

"Bitch please!" Take your angry behind to anger management...quickly!

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"Bitch Please!"...The Main Chick Vs. The Jump-Off

We see it, hear about it, or we ARE it: a guy's "main line" or his "jump-off". Now, in no way am I insinuating that all men cheat, that all women in relationships are dealing with this, or that all single ladies are jump-offs. Who I am in fact addressing are those who make excuses for certain and specific behaviors when it comes to this situation.

First of all, since when did it become ok to be a "main line" when you should be THE ONLY! Secondly, you know your man is cheating like crazy yet you make all these justifications: "Me and him live together, he only spends the night at that other girl's house sometimes.", "I got his baby, so he's always gonna come home to me.", "He using her for her money.", blah blah blah. Slice it up, add whipped cream, and a cherry...it's still bullshit! These justifications and any others that are spouted off only amount to one thing: you're trying to save face as well as dull the pain of the embarrasment you feel. Not to mention the reality that your man is disrespecting you as well as your relationship. For this, you get a "Bitch please!" and a much needed dose of self-esteem and reality.

Jump-offs...sigh...where do I begin. You're getting another woman's leftovers. Sloppy seconds if you will. Since when did 2nd place win any prizes? I especially love the jump-off chicks who come into the situation knowing they are a jump-off yet get mad when the man hasn't bettered their position! Oh, you wanna be #1? Sorry, that position was previously filled. But hey, if you don't value yourself worthy enough of a man to make you his #1, then God-speed and good luck to ya' anyway! You get a "Bitch please!", and a 2nd place ribbon!

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"Bitch Please!"... The Sheree Whitfield Edition

We were witness to her "boughetto" antics on "Real Housewives of Atlanta"...including watching her have a fashion show with no fashions, and the cat fights & phoniness. We here about her legal issues and that she's actually BROKE! Most recently, she threw herself a "Brand New Me" divorce party despite the fact that her ex-husband dropped her ass a few years back! Yet again, the stankness that is Sheree's tude reared its ugly head and this time, people weren't having it. Long story short, she winds up not attending her own party after throwing an alleged hissy fit, and it ends up turning into a party for her ex, Bob Whitfield, LOL!

For this, babycakes, you get the "Bitch Please!"

Sheree, give it up hun. All the diva antics, the top-notch stanky attitude...clearly, it's not getting you anywhere that you want to be. Enough is definitely enough! Go take a nap until the next season of "Real Housewives" airs.

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"You're Doing What?..."

"If you quit, then you'll be a quitter!" ~Kimora Lee Simmons

Kid Cudi just recently announced via his blog that he is "retiring" from the rap game. After reading his {long & drawn out} statement on his decision, seems to me it's more like he's quitting. First of all, he doesn't have enough longevity in this game to officially "retire". Dude, what are you retiring? He has what?...one mixtape? one hit song?...

"After the release of my first LP this summer, I am not making anymore solo albums. I am falling back on being an artist. The drama that comes with it is more overwhelming than I was dealing with when I was piss-poor broke.

"I don't look at it as quitting, for I have already accomplished my goal," he continued. "I have a solid fanbase who truly appreciates me and my messages thru song, I got multiple big records, I have received worldwide critical acclaim from the biggest tastemakers in the game, three fan-made best-of mixtapes without even releasing more than one mixtape and not even releasing a album, I can pay my mom's mortgage and help my sister with my niece and hold my brothers down with wutever they need. That's wut i got in this game for, to accomplish all these goals and I have. No regrets.

...No matter how you slice it and dice it, you're a quitter! Everyone in the free world knows that the industry is not for the weak and one can either be made or broken by it. Unfortunately, he chose to let it break him. With songs like "Mo Money, Mo Problems", and "Deep Inside", celebs falling into drugs for comfort as well as fatally committing suicide, it's beyond obvious the toll the entertainment industry can take on anyone who chooses it. His justifications are weak and bitch-ass and if he is choosing to quit now, then he never deserved the opportunity that he was given! Those same "tastemakers" that hailed you will be the same ones to diss you. That whole "no regrets" thing...is bullshit! He will--if he doesn't already--regret throwing away his dreams all because it got a little too hot in the kitchen. I'm actually not surprised at any of this wackness; I witnessed him act like a pissy crybaby one night on the stage of a particular Cleveland nightclub! So having said that, goodbye and good riddance. If he thinks acting will bring him less drama, then he's diluted. At the end of the day it's all entertainment and it all brings scrutiny, drama, haters, and bullshit. Only the strong survive.

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Oh Frankie!

...I have no words except "HOLLLLLLLAAAAAA!!!" LOL!

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"Gotcha!"

Men...poor unsuspecting fools, LOL! Men are visual creatures. They go ga-ga for curves, big booties, nice perky boobs, a pretty face and a gorgeous mane. This is a pretty well-known fact and thanks to the marvels of modern technology, women can "add-on" whatever features they are lacking. Sounds crazy, right? Not exactly. Take a look for yourself...

...looks like even Ms. "Bootylicious" herself has a little help with the shake in that jelly!

With products like this on the market, even those with the most severe cases of "noassatallitis" can have the fellas sayin "dayum!" (as shown below)

Let's not forget our beloved push-up bras, making even the saggiest or non-existent boobs sit right at chin level...or better yet, right in a man's eye line! Look at Paris. Thanks to a small "miracle"-- bra that is--she went from flat to inflated!


Wow! Take a look at that itty-bitty waistline! Genes like Jessica Rabbit? Nope. It's a corset!


It's already known what good makeup application can do...smooth out your skin, even out your complexion, accentuate all your best features:

...clearly, NO ONE is above the need for makeup!

Looks like the secret's out. Those curves, that booty, may very well be real. But there's also a strong possibility of some artificial help! I'm just sayin...

(...and yes, I MEANT to be sarcastic!)

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...When A Good, Honest Friend Would Come In Handy...

*Sigh* Why?!?
Where were her friends when she put on this foolishness?

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Since When Does Opinion= Hating???

Is it just me or does it seem as though anytime one gives their opinion on something or someone they have automatically become a hater? It's really starting to seem that way! Being that I am a very opinionated person, I say what's on my mind when it's on my mind. If you want sugar-coated bullshit then you're coming in the wrong direction. On the other hand, if you want the truth, then follow me! I hate to come across harshly, but I would be lying to you as well as to myself if I said it any other way. Now, depending on where one is coming from with their opinions should determine whether or not they are hating. Simply not agreeing with someone's actions or point of view doesn't deem one a hater. It's pure comedy to me that the first three words out of a person's mouth after someone states their opinion is jealous, envy, or hating. When opinions come from an "ugly" place, then yes, that equates to hate. Newsflash for those of you who are constantly blogging, talking about, or even THINK you're being hated on...chances are you're probably NOT!!! (Not to the extent or degree that you are giving yourself credit for anyway!) Having one or two haters is nothing. When you accumulate 10+ that's when you can officially go off on your tangent! I mean, what is it that you do exactly to make you think that everyone is hating on you??? (Think about this before answering please.) Don't get me wrong, there are definitely enough haters on the planet, but they aren't all zeroing in on just you!!! With that being said, I myself will continue to state how I feel about certain, people, events, places, etc. all with the full understanding that I am most definitely entitled to my opinions.

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Stuff I Hate...

Here are the things that irritate me to my soul...

~Autotune~ T-Pain started this (well no, not really...Zap & Roger did actually and T-Pain brought it back) and now it seems as though everybody and their grandpa has jumped on the damn autotune bandwagon! Like anything else in life, everything ain't for everybody so to me, this "trend" only works for certain individuals--namely people who are a little eccentric (i.e. Kanye and T-Pain). There should still be some talent behind the robot voice (sorry Ron Browz you lose!) For 2009, I would like to see this taper off because I don't live on Mars and it would be nice to hear a song that doesn't sound like I've boarded the Mothership.


~Reality T.V. Shows (about "love")/Dating Shows~Now I'm not gonna lie, I used to watch Flavor of Love cause let's face it...who didn't want to see just who was desperate enough for that 15 minutes of fame and just how far they were willing to go to get it? It was like watching a trainwreck! But now enough is enough with all these dumb ass shows...Rock of Love, Real Chance of Love, Charm School aka love's rejects, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!!! Why have a televised charm school for desperate and unclassy skanks anyway. No self-respecting woman would ever go on one of these shows! Dating shows like MTV's Next and Parental Control clearly are so rehearsed (and not well i might add)! If it's not ANTM or Project Runway i'll pass!

~Going Green~Why is there suddenly all this hoopla about preserving the earth when pollution, the o-zone layer, global warming, animal extinction, rain forests, etc. have all been issues for many years? Now for 2008 it's cool to be "green"? I'm sorry but I'm not about to break my neck nor my pockets to go green. Organic foods and clothing are waaaaay too expensive and I'm not carpooling with anyone. I'll just shoot my reg and try not to litter.


~People in Cleveland Who Have Stank and Unfounded Attitudes~Cleveland is the city that I've called home for 28 years and counting. I love my city, I rep my city. What I can't love is the amount of stank and unfounded 'tudes that people in this city seem to have. There are alot of guys and chicks walking around with their noses in the air or stiff faces like this is Hollywood but the last time I checked this was Cleveland, Ohio--home of the blue collar workers and largest rate of unemployment. With this being one of the poorest big cities in the nation, if you are lucky enough to be financially blessed then that is great, but the bourgeouis act and tude is wack as hell. A truly blessed person SMILES not scowls at others! And for the record, financially blessed doesn't include having a $500 car note while Section 8 is paying your rent alright ok alright! (point em out, point em out...).

~Ballet Flats~ These shoes are so unflattering. They make a woman's feet look long and sometimes extra wide. And I swear fo Lawd if you are wearing ballet flats that are doing the gangsta lean...ooohhhh! That boils my blood! If you are over the age of 10--make that 8--then please retire these ugly ass shoes.


~ Bad Weaves~For some strange reason some chicks choose to believe that any weave is better than no weave at all but I'm here to tell you differently. Low quality hair is a no-no. Texture and color that doesn't match that of your own hair...a no-no. Using tracks more than twice (whether you wash them or not)...another no-no. Using more than two bulks of hair in your head...a BIG no-no. If you can't afford the upkeep of a weave, then just don't bother! Maintain your OWN head of hair first and foremost before running out to slap somebody else's on your head!

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