Who Am I Living For?

Opinions are like assholes and everybody's got one. I've been picked apart, talked about, & looked down upon. I've taken so much heat yet I'm still cool as a fan. It's tough, but you have to filter through the bullshit. Not everyone has your best interest at heart and some may harbor their own personal feelings about your success in life. Once upon a time, I cared way too much about what other people thought about me and that took its toll. I was ready to give up on the things I wanted for myself out of life. When I realized that I only had one judge, things turned around. I don't owe the naysayers anything and I'll be damned if I give them my power. When you feed into what they say or think, they in turn feed off of you. Just ask yourself, who am I living for?. Whatever answer you choose, there's your clarity.

Patterning your life around others' opinions is nothing more than slavery.
~Lawana Blackwell

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Have a Plan

If you don't have a plan, random circumstances will make one for you and you probably won't like it much. Decide what you would like and go for it. Success is no more complicated than that. The energy and time you spend can either bring you toward your dreams or it can keep you in the service of someone else's. Choose to follow your own dreams. Explore your own most deeply held values and purposes. Decide precisely how you would like your world and your life to be.





The most dismal failures are not caused by the inability to reach a goal. Those failures are the result of not having a clear enough and meaningful enough goal. Know exactly where you intend to go and you're much more likely to get there. Have a plan, follow it with persistence, and enjoy being where you sincerely choose to be.



~Ralph Marston

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How Much are You Worth?

How much are you willing to give, take, or put up with from your man to live a certain lifestyle, drive a certain car, and/or wear certain clothes and jewelry? For some women, their entire existence revolves around being mistreated and disrespected, all in the name of looking a certain way to their peers and the outside world. Are those diamonds or that big house he's providing worth more than your internal happiness? Is couture a counter for mental or physical abuse? I've seen it time and time again. These women hold their heads up so proudly, the envy of all her girls because she has a pocket full of money, designer bags, clothes & shoes all courtesy of her man. She's driving a hot luxury vehicle and pulling up to a plushed out crib. But at home, that same proud display has to be put on ice. She is lonely because he puts everything else before her. She is unfulfilled and treated as if she is beneath, not equal to, her man. In place of love, he showers her with gifts to make up for his cheating, lying, or abuse. The money is talking and it's voice is louder than her conscience telling her that she deserves better. The lowering of standards for "things" just proves that she doesn't believe she holds any value. The saddest part is that these women don't realize that their value remains and is greater with time while "things" lose value or don't hold much to begin with. Never sell your soul for what can be purchased. Never trade your love for money. And last but definitely not least never allow anyone, not even yourself, to put a price tag on your happiness.

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Black Girl Lost

Have y'all ever seen a Star Cry? I've survived some sh*t, but still cry for my Father being gone, destroying our beautiful home, Mommy did it ALONE.

Judy Marchand, Strong Black woman, educated, good-looking, is the reason I AM….They say Daddy's a little girl's FIRST love. But the pain of Daddy gone so long had me fallin' for THUGS. See once he tells his Angel she's the prettiest lil' girl in the world, can't no fckin' body tell her different! And as she embraces her maturation, and embarks on her journey into a woman, NO guy could make her feel worthless. Or shatter the glass Halo Daddy so lovingly carved around her HEART, but that's when the abuse starts. A Black Girl Lost, so pristine and so precious, with her heart torn apart, boyfriend beating her senseless. Once Daddy disappears and his lil' girl's in tears, any dude that says "you're pretty," sounds like music to her ears. I swear.

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Join the "Lonely Girls" Club

Are you great at keeping your nose in other peoples' business? Do you excel at down-talking your friends behind their backs? Are you the reason why your friends' relationships suffer? If so, you may pre-qualify for a lifetime membership to "The Lonely Girls Club"!

Our slogan, "Misery really DOES love company!", is tried and true. You TOO can become a member and be privy to club perks such as:

~Fake, phony, back-biting conversation!

~Parties where you'll get to judge everyone else there!

~Being single for years to come! &

~Much MORE negativity!

Membership is free! Contact us at 1-800-LGCLUB or www.lonely4life.com!

Go ahead and keep up the drama...we look forward to you joining!

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Bitter Much?

Life is a journey so pack light. Words to live by. This should be the rule and not the exception. Unfortunately, so many women are "bag ladies" walking around with heavy emotional loads. Bitter and scorned, they drop their baggage off with anyone who enters their lives. If you find yourself unable to let go of past hurt and pain, you will always lose. A clear heart is a free heart and a free heart is a happy heart. Don't allow yourself to be bitter and resentful. People and situations are without a doubt going to disappoint you. That's life. Holding on to that disappointment and anger while the person who hurt you has moved on or after the situation has died doesn't make it any better. Ultimately, the only one who suffers is you. Check your bags at the door so that you can live, laugh and love freely.

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Be a Superhero

There are four types of people in life:

Heroes- heroes are courageous, strong, have nobility of purpose, inspires those around them and does right by others.

Villains- villains are the cause of trouble and corruption. They take pride in the suffering of others.

Victims- victims are people who can be taken advantage of, tricked or swindled. They allow things to happen to them and blame others for their misfortune.

Spectators- spectators are simply on-lookers that take no action. They are bystanders who do nothing while circumstances and situations take place around them.

Where do you fit in?

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Don't Be Afraid to Be Yourself

Nowadays, it seems that everyone wants to be someone that they aren't. The "good girl" wants to be the "vixen" and the "school nerd" wants to be the "thug". This floors me. Isn't it much easier to just be who you are? Being a poser or a faker takes alot of energy. You have to change your whole identity, push your true interests to the side, and befriend people whom you don't really want to befriend. If you aren't comfy enough in your own skin to know and to be who you really are, it will begin to show. Knowing who you are and standing firm in your identity makes the difference between you being a leader and a follower. A leader definitely knows who they are and the "stuff" they are made of. So, if you're a nerd, then be just that. If you love country music, don't pretend that you don't to fit in with certain people. Being true to yourself is way hotter than being a poser!

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Life Lessons You Can Take to the Bank

Life. There's no better teacher. The lessons learned in life come from experience, observation and reflection. This is what I know...



~Absolutely no one will love you like YOU. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect for anyone else to?



~You can't change a man. What you CAN change is yourself and the type of men you allow into your life.



~Friends and friendships grow, change, and evolve. Expect, accept, and respect those changes.



~It's ok to dislike things about yourself. Some things can be changed and others can't be. Learn to accept the things that can't be changed and have the wisdom to know the difference.



~Love is real. Love is lasting. Love is alot of things. One thing love is not....is perfect.



~Relationships are based on give and take. If you're doing all the giving while he's doing all the taking, you may want to reevaluate the situation.



~At the end of the day, you have to be happy with you. How others feel about your choices should be non-essential. Opinions are like assholes--everybody's got one! Your opinion of you is law.



Always keep your eyes, mind & heart open to embrace the lessons that life will undoubtedly teach you.

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I'm a REAL Chick

I'm so comfortable in my own skin it's crazy. Alot of people, especially females, don't get that about me. Like how I can quote a movie like "Friday" or "Coming To America" word for word and then LMAO about it to myself or with friends like the movie just came out last week. I love to laugh. My laugh is hearty and loud and it stays that way no matter who's around. I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world, but I have the confidence to pull people toward me. I can do this all without my ass out and my boobs propped up. I'm smart. Learning is cool to me. Writing is cool to me. Grabbing a combo from Wendy's and sitting on my couch watching HGTV is just as fun to me as going out to a club. I'm not waiting around to be wined and dined. Sometimes, I foot the bill and have the ability to do so. Going to dinner can be as simple as The Olive Garden, or as fly as XO. I drink long islands and moscato, but I also drink and buy champagne. I'm not scared to put a $10 t-shirt on with $250 jeans and when someone asks me where I purchased the t-shirt, I tell them gladly and thank them for the compliment. I have diamonds as well as cubic zirconias and rhinestones. I need braces. My teeth are not perfect but to me, I have a "million dollar" smile. Sometimes, I feel like I hate my thighs. My life can be an organized mess at times. When I wake up in the morning, I'm pale with swollen lips. I have feelings and not in every situation have I conducted myself as a lady. I'm not perfect, I'm not a robot or a "Stepford wife", I'm a REAL chick!

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From Me to You...

Lately, my life has been something like a whirlwind. The past six months have opened my eyes in so many ways, both good and bad. I've always been the optimistic type, but now, I am more like a realist. No matter what happens to me or around me, I just don't have it in me to be a pessimist. Situations as well as people have tried to break my spirit, but I am more resilient than the drama. People close to me have doubted me, talked down on me, and hurt me. I feel these jabs but I'm still able to stand strong. I am STILL smiling, STILL laughing, STILL gaining, and STILL moving ahead. I won't call these people who've tried to knock me down "haters"...I will call them "miserable". It takes a truly miserable person to spend their energy on trying to sabotage another's happiness. What do you want me to do...say I'm sorry? Well I won't. In no way, shape, or form will I ever apologize to anyone at any time in my life for being happy, for being in love (and experiencing a healthy, loving relationship), for any positive gains, for speaking my mind truthfully and tactfully, for supporting those that I love and that love me, for raising my children my way, or for chasing and pursuing my dreams. I don't live my life with the intent to hurt others. I am not afraid to confront those who have hurt me. I value who I am. I've been down a road and have had things happen to me in my life that would break a lot of people; things that I live with everyday. So, to those who have tried to break my spirit with bullshit and drama...simply put, YOU CAN'T! My strength and my faith outweighs your misery. Every tear I have shed in my life has served its purpose. The irony is that for every blow that I've been dealt lately, I feel unstoppable. It's only added fuel to my fire. So, all I can say now is "watch what happens next!"

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Leader vs. Follower...Which One Are You?

A Follower...



~goes along with what everyone else is doing, saying, or wearing...



~isn't comfortable thinking for themself...



~blends in with the crowd...



~travels behind and pursues another...





A Leader...



~is a trendsetter...



~marches to his/her own beat...



~stands out...



~rules, guides, inspires others...



which one are you?

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